#Masterchef Recap 21 June: Pork and Beans

Posted: June 21, 2011 in Uncategorized

Déjà vu. Bondi Chef Hayden is once again fighting it out for immunity. He seems to have permanently abandoned his hats. His existing immunity pin gleams brightly on his shirt.
Matt is wearing his rad purple plaid suit. Goth Matt thinks that Hayden looks confident. He hopes that this is short-lived. Hayden doesn’t think he’s going to be losing friends – his belief is shaken as the cold, unsympathetic gaze of his deeply resentful fellow contestants.

Like Goth Matt, the shark looks surprisingly goofy close up

Goth Matt's remorseless shark eyes are particularly terrifying

Boring Guest Chef is introduced so swiftly I miss it. Jeremy something. A man with real TV presence.

Hayden’s going to be cooking off against Vincent Gadan, one of Australia’s best patissiers.  He is one hundred percent about dessert. Hayden thinks he’s doomed. Vincent and Hayden have a chin-off. Vincent wins.

Sacre bleu indeed

Hayden didn't stand a chance

Vincent doesn’t like the look of the hessian sack Gary produces. Hayden’s one weakness is pastry. Vincent is praying to the pastry gods. Ah yes, the One True Church.

It seems the pastry gods have deserted him. The box is full of meat and vegetables – no recipe and no dish. They have to cook a roast pork dinner. Oh come on. I can do that. Vincent apparently can’t, and considers leaving. They have really handed this one to Hayden. The peanut gallery is spewing.

Gary talks up the challenge. Vincent isn’t listening, as he was too busy plotting Gary’s death. Both get seventy-five minutes. Go!
They shake hands before they run off. Vincent hasn’t ever done this before. He’s never roasted pork before. He wastes ten minutes looking for chocolate in the box. It’s not there, buddy! Hayden’s going great guns.

Vincent somehow remembers his mother’s advice. He’s watched this show before. He starts demonstrating some serious crackling technique. Has all the drama been a sham? I hope Vincent wins. So do the peanut gallery – they’re yelling down advice.

Craig and Peter

Pro tip, Vincent: it's bad advice

Gary starts shouting in French. Sacre bleu! Where is the sugar! That is surprisingly impressive. Vincent has decided to trust himself and make delicious roast vegetables. Hayden, meanwhile, is making a delicate potato galette. Sadly, his hands are shaking so badly he’s starting to smash it.

Vincent asks Hayden to come give him a hand. What a champ. He’s making apple sauce. He knows what he’s doing. Hayden’s pork has mysteriously not cooked in 45 minutes. Vincent’s crackling inspires a round of applause. Gary cannot stop himself from eating half of it. Vincent throws some up to the peanut gallery, who fight it out for the opportunity to feast. Alana wins.

Hayden’s struggling. He’s feeling the pressure for the first time in the life. Gary comes and gives him some basic advice. Vincent’s pork may be underdone, so he decides to fry it off. Is this a mistake? Maybe.

Hayden is living in struggle street. His pork’s underdone. He plates it up anyway, smartly using the end pieces. Should have spent less time frenching it, idiot. This is what overconfidence does to you.

Vincent appears to have set something on fire. His heart tells him to put the roast vegetables on the plate. He does. We’re done! Vincent’s looks delicious, Hayden’s is a complete mess. Embarrassing.

Breaking news on the freaky eftpos ads front. Apparently the ads are made by the people who own the copyright to all swipecard machines. They are deeply threatened by the vastly superior ‘tap and go’ credit card machines that everyone’s introducing. Problem is, these ads could just as easily be for tap and go. In fact, that ‘murder cab’ one makes more sense when talking about credit cards. Thanks to loyal commenter CWARocks for the intel.

Please don't have me killed, eftpos lobby

Better than eftpos

Vincent is up first. The judges are pretty into the crackling. God I’m hungry. They are concerned about the lack of finesse and the fact that the pork was clearly fried off.  The crackling is amazing and the pork at the end was perfectly cooked. The vegetables, however, show the mark of a crazy person. They still look good though. George is basically drinking the apple sauce. Matt calls him fat.

Hayden’s turn. The judges are pleased with Hayden’s dish. Looks pretty average to me, but then I’ve never been a fan of the smear. Jeremy wants some roast vegetables rather than fancy fiddly things. George describes the pork as ‘mooing’. That’s some strange pork.

'Eat me, I'm delicious'


His crackling is delicious. Of course it is. Everything except the pork was fantastic, and George is torn. Matt thinks the scoring will be wildly different.

Back in the kitchen, Gary reveals which plate was which. Matt has been practicing his surprise face in the mirror.

Vincent gets straight sevens. Jeremy, who has an enormous forehead, apologises for the score. Vincent identifies that seven is neither nine nor ten, but seven.

'One overconfident masterchef contestant..ah ha ha! Two overconfident masterchef contestants...ah ha ha!

Vincent's second job

Hayden gets seven from Jeremy, who reckons it looked like a chef quality dish. Gary rubs it in. Matt gives him an eight. Hayden thinks the odds are looking good. It’s all down to George, who got a raw slice of pork.  Ad break!

Hayden hopes George got a nice bit of meat. He didn’t, and is angry about it. He gives it a four. Wow. Vincent is cautiously pleased. He was surprised and impressed by Hayden. Gary thanks him for putting his reputation on the line, and Vincent refuses to return unless he gets to make a dessert. Hayden reminds everyone he’s still got an immunity pin.

See you tomorrow for the vegan challenge. The food sucks but the vegans are used to it and don’t notice.

  1. “George describes the pork as ‘mooing’. That’s some strange pork.”
    Haha, that is gold! 😀

    I myself was very impressed with the pastry chef on two fronts:
    a) He did a decent job of something he doesn’t usually cook
    b) He must lift like a billion cupcakes a day at his patisserie. The dude is a tank (or at least it seemed like it to me)! o_o

    Poor Hayden, I really felt sorry for him when they focused on his hands trembling. At least he put up a decent enough fight.

    I’d actually really like to see Adriano Zumbo do one of those challenges and see if he does as well as Vincent did when outside his comfort zone.

  2. Rob T says:

    I didn’t miss much, then. I had been assuming surfie Hayden was going to be the winner after Matt’s faux-faux on Monday:

    Fat cravat blats Natyoung’s ‘hat’. Drat.

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