We’re back. Adam, Quirky Danielle, Michael and Ellie are fighting it out in the pressure test. One of them will be going home tonight. It’s really hard to care who it is. I hope Danielle is safe, I guess. Michael is wearing puce short-shorts as he packs his bag once again. His new best friend Hayden is in bed next to him. All his hats are lined up on the bedhead.
Adam is a scuba diving instructor. Danielle is surprise married to some guy with a beard. Ellie thinks that she’s better than the other three, as she’s here by default after taking a sick day yesterday. You aren’t.
They arrive in the kitchen. Adam describes it as a culinary colosseum. I do not believe he thought of that himself.
Masterchef has finally bowed to the pressure to bring a female judge along. Is it one of the excellent female chefs around Australia? No. It’s George’s mum, Mary Calombaris. Close enough. Hayden thinks she’s cute as anything. Ellie better watch out. Michael is pleased to see a mum. Any mum.
Ha, they’re doing the ‘serious chef’ music as we recap about Mary. She taught George to love his food. She is being very patient with her idiot son as he makes her talk nonsense about food.
Who’s a better cook, asks Matt. Mary is pretty clear that it’s her. George is too scared to argue. His mum then tells him he bastardises his food. True enough. She’s prepared multiple dishes for the contestants: pita bread and tzatziki, koupes and hummus, and shamishi, which is apparently like a Cypriot custard tart. I want to eat it all right now.
They are getting recipes for everything except the dips. They have ninety minutes and Mary will be judging. She should replace Matt Moran permanently.
They’re off! Michael has shaved his neckbeard and looks much better. Everyone is taking a different approach. George tells Danielle to put heart into it. Mary tells her to share her worries and happiness, then gives her actual advice about how to make the dough. Then she looks at Danielle’s happy snaps and tells her that her family is beautiful. I want Mary to visit me.
Adam takes heart from her girlfriend. He then makes fun of George. Mary doesn’t like it. Ellie, meanwhile, is pretending to be too weak to knead. Mary comes and helps her until forcibly removed by Gary. Peter thinks she wants everyone to do well. I agree!
Now she’s making Michael’s dough for him! George has to explain to her that it’s a competition. I note she isn’t helping idiot Adam. He’s made lumpy custard. Billy tells him to strain it. Adam ignores Billy’s advice, then finally takes it. This guy is so arrogant.
Michael’s going well. He’s feeling the love. He’s such a doofus. George demands that the contestants make his mum proud. She does not like the intense atmosphere he’s creating. Meanwhile, Ellie’s semolina custard isn’t looking great. Alana explains how to actually cook it. Ellie is responding in her usual way to stress, by halving her IQ.
Woah, the eftpos ads have now escalated to ‘use eftpos or you’re going to get murdered by a taxi driver’. These guys need to chill out.
Forty minutes to go. Adam has totally stuffed his mince. Mary tells him how to fix it. Gary barely stops her from making it for him.
Mary begs the contestants to make her proud. I think that was take fifteen. George gets it from his dad, clearly. Adam is way behind time, compensating by adding all the salt. Mary asks George to give Adam an extra ten minutes. He says no. Danielle is making a garlic dip with hints of cucumber. Dani has some views about this, none of which I am willing to listen to.
Ellie’s also struggling with time. Mary cannot see why they can’t have some extra time. George is regretting bringing his mum along.
Fifteen minutes to go! Ellie hasn’t made any dips or fried anything. How is she going to do this? Kate, who as a mum is familiar with idiot children, is worried for her. Adam is also in struggle street, despite Mary and literally every other contestant explaining to him how to do him.
Gary makes a ‘something about Mary’ joke. Wildly inappropriate. I hope Mary doesn’t get it.
Two minutes to go! Everyone is struggling. George starts speaking in Greek. Kate has faith in Ellie. She probably shouldn’t. By some miracle everyone has managed to get the four dishes done.
Judging time! Michael’s up first. His cooking experience is his mum this time, rather than his dead dad. Michael’s tzatziki is delicious, and while his pita is undercooked it’s not too bad. Mary thinks his koupes are perfect, but the hummus needs olive oil. Definitely a Calombaris recipe. His shamishi is nicely folded but badly cooked.
Danielle’s up. She feels a sense of foreboding. She misses cooking for her family. Her plate is pretty meagre – only two shamishi. She has made garlic dip rather than tzatziki and greasebags rather than koupes. Her shamishi is raw and tastes like soap. Mary hates it. See you never Danielle.
Ellie is unsure whether her dishes reflects her love and heart or her stress and sweat. Stress and sweat, buddy. She is banking on Mary finding her adorable. It’s a solid strategy. Her tzatziki and pita are excellent, but the hummus is a bit lame. Her shamishi is also delicious. Apparently they call her the Eliminator.
Adam is lucky last. He had a fun time! Mary approves of that. George realises that Mary has basically made half of it. The half she didn’t make is crap. The tzatziki is a saline solution, and the koupes are terrible. His shamishi are inedible.
Decision time. Ellie doesn’t think she’s reached her potential. Michael isn’t finished yet. Danielle is becoming complete again, which she demonstrates by crying. It makes Adam feel like an imposter! He realises that his true calling is the scuba. The ads are telling me a bombshell is coming.
Here it is: Masterchef has taught him that he doesn’t want to open a restaurant anymore. He praises Danielle and Michael’s cooking skills, then calls Ellie beautiful. Fair. He quits! Flameball.
I think he’s just quit to avoid getting the boot. Just putting that out there.
The world’s longest adbreak is over. Gary smirks as he confirms that Adam is quitting. Adam is going home. Quirky Danielle knows Adam just saved her. Gary confirms this anyway. Adam briefly regrets his choices – he’s committed now. Mary tells him to follow his dreams, and cook with his heart. She wasn’t really listening.
Gary describes Adam as the ‘strong silent type’ in the background of Masterchef 2011. That is one way of putting it. His memory montage is…nothing. Nobody seems that upset when Adam doesn’t return.
Since leaving Masterchef Adam has returned to being a scuba diving instructor. His welcome home party was on a boat. Montage of his serial killer face.
See you tomorrow as Hayden loses all friends in the house by winning double immunity.