Masterchef Recap June 6: Cake or Death

Posted: June 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

We’re back, as dawn breaks over the Masterchef house. Ellie, Jay and Dani are in the kitchen sitting as far away from each other as possible.  Jay, for once, is fully dressed. He dreams of turning his car dealership business into a food career. I went to a carwash that served coffee once. Very achievable.

Ellie’s done this so many times we don’t get any backstory. Not that she has any, given that she’s about ten years old. Turns out her name is Elspbeth! Why haven’t we heard this sooner?

Dani had an awful day yesterday. I’m not sure how she distinguishes this from her other days in the Masterchef kitchen. Her dream is to open an Asian grocer and snack bar. She’s been to Thailand twice.

The three hug. Jay is really very bad at hugging. I’m calling it early tonight for Dani to get eliminated – while Jay might be annoying, at least he can cook. Ellie can follow a recipe so will probably be fine today.

They arrive at the Masterchef kitchen. Matt is wearing a fabulous sky-blue blazer and white pants combo. Gary is saying something but nobody is really listening as they’re all admiring Matt’s sartorial genius.

Dan Hong, head chef at Ms G’s, is the guest judge! Quirky Danielle and Goth Matt are stoked. He brings in an ominous covered plate containing the dish they’ll be cooking today.

Dani hopes it’s an Asian dish and not something far-out like burger and fries. What? Can she cook anything?

Looks better than anything she's cooked yet

Outside Dani's gastronomical experience

Jay is praying for anything other than a dessert. Surprise! It’s a dessert.  Pandan chiffon cake with black sesame icecream. It looks amazing. Dani, asked her opinion of what she thinks is in the cake dish, says she can see that there’s a cake. Go home.

Dan explains to them that it is important not to burn anything, undercook anything or create runny slush instead of icecream. He lists four pressure points instead of the usual three. Must be the hardest dish ever.

Their ninety minutes starts…now! Instant ad break. We return, and the peanut gallery patiently explain what happened three minutes ago. I know, I was here. I was taking notes, even.

Jay correctly identifies that the correct strategy is to follow the recipe and not panic. Let’s see if he sticks with that. The peanut gallery are helping like crazy. Why have they been given recipes?

Dani lasts five minutes before stuffing up her icecream dish. She yells at the people helping her, and says she just needs to believe in herself and her abilities. That is the last thing she should be doing.

Jay’s whisking his eggs by hand, like a fool. Dan tells him making icecream is all about confidence, but doesn’t reveal the other secret of using the mixing machine. Jay can’t read the recipe properly and stuffs his icecream mixture as well. His first impulse is to sulk. He’s such a quitter. Gary tells him to block out his quitting tendencies.

You don't want to know where. image source

Jay has this tattooed somewhere on his body

Dani has abandoned her resolution not to listen to the advice of the substantially better cooks above her. Sun has come along to help Quirky Danielle help Dani. What a team of winners they are. Dani somehow manages to get her cake mix competently prepared. Surely this can’t last. She starts overworking her cake batter. Ellie, meanwhile, is struggling with timing. We’re not seeing a lot of her, confirming my suspicion that she survives.

Jay is not even close to having his sponge ready. He declares that he is not under control. Pull it together idiot! He decides he might as well give up.  Stop being such a quitter! He’s seriously having a tantrum because he’s been asked to make a cake on a cooking program. Hayden’s lifesaving training kicks in and he explains to Jay how to fold in the egg whites to his cake mix.

I guess there are plenty of people out of their depth

The skills translate surprisingly well to the Masterchef kitchen

Dani has the cake in with 38 minutes to go – it needs 40. Decides to risk turning the oven up. She promises to keep an eye on it. No prizes for guessing how this turns out.

Jay’s made his cake mixture finally. He takes full credit for getting it done, ignoring the assistance of his fellow competitors. This is a competition guys.

Time’s running out – according to George, they can’t have your cake and eat it too! Do they actually get to eat any of their cake? There’s a lot of leftover cake.

Ellie has eaten bad tapioca a lot. She does work in a hospital. George is shocked to see Dani cleaning her bench. He confirms that it’s really Dani. She feels heaps better, tells us all how important being clean is. Shut up Dani. Ok, she’s the worst.

Jay blames everything except his own refusal to learn how to cook desserts for his struggle. He’s now relying on Michael to read out the recipe for him step by step.

Ellie gets too focused on her lime leaves, and as a result burns her praline. Just pay attention for five seconds! Dan reckons this will ruin the whole dish. Ellie sulks. Hayden explains to Jay that cakes rise.

Dani’s praline is nonsense and her cake is undercooked. She responds by cranking up the heat. No! That will kill it! Actually, yes, please do that, Dani.

George is wearing a snake around his neck. No, it’s just his horrible leather lapels.

Everyone's fashion icon, really

George's fashion icon

Four minutes to go – it’s time to boom boom, shake the room. George knows how to play to his fans.

Dani’s cake has somehow worked, to my surprise. Jay’s looks great, through no fault of his own. Everyone’s in a plating frenzy. Time’s up! By some miracle everyone gets a dish together.

Ellie’s up first. She claims she’s gotten used to the pressure after being in three eliminations. This is untrue. The presentation is nice. Matt is determined to keep her in and declares the burnt praline perfect. Gary laughs as he tastes it.  Everyone agrees – her icecream is delicious too. Excellent. Cake’s a bit dense, and she’s undercooked the tapioca.

Dani claims to have gotten her act together since yesterday. I don’t believe it. She’s not wearing lipstick any more, as a sign of newfound seriousness. Give ea break. Her icecream is remarkable, her praline is delicious, and her cake is beautiful. She’s nailed the flavours. Damn. Dan thinks her tapioca is potentially unforgivable! Yes! You’re the best, Dan.

Jay doesn’t have a passion for desserts. He blames his failure on this. Weak. His presentation’s ok, frankly a miracle he got it done. His cake is perfect but his praline and icecream are no good. Uh-oh.

Decision time! Dani and Ellie both think they’ve done enough to stay. Bold words! Jay also thinks he’s safe. He thinks it’s splitting hairs between the three dishes. Dan Hong is embracing the blank angry judge stare.

Time for everyone to talk about their feelings. Dani’s sick of cooking with fear, whatever that means. Jay cries! Wow. Tactical. Ellie, not to be outdone, cries and looks more attractive while she does it. She has met people who have travelled, which gives her confidence. Yeah, it didn’t make any sense at the time.

Dani is safe! Outrageous. It’s between Ellie and Jay. I don’t think anyone expected this. I think Ellie is adorable but Jay’s clearly a better cook. I’m torn!

The judges aren’t, though. Ellie’s safe. Jay is eliminated! Woah. I just lost a ton of money. Crazy! I no longer believe that eliminated contestants won’t be coming back. He bawls. Poor little guy! From highs to lows. Should have learnt how to make a cake.

Back in the house Michael is not looking forward to being Tweedledee without Tweedledum.Everyone pretends to be pleased to see Dani return instead of Jay. Michael cannot hide his sad face.

Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, maybe

Pretty sure he was Tweedledum in that relationship

Unlike Andrew, Jay has loving friends and family to welcome him back. Since leaving the Masterchef kitchen he’s started doing work experience with Dan Hong at Ms G’s! He’s also leading classes on ‘Cooking for Blokes’. Cooking for Blokes doesn’t include making dessert.

See you tomorrow for Quirky Danielle’s first appearance lasting longer than ten seconds.

  1. Izobel2 says:

    Have been reading these posts to my husband for a week now (just discovered u)whilst cracking ourselves laughing! Thanks so much. Do u do other shows? Love your style, wit, and speed in which u deliver. Cheers!

  2. jason says:

    Gutted. The best cook, and probably one of 3 who’d survive in a real kitchen, eliminated while the goth, strawberry shortcake and gormless Andrew survive.

    There is something seriously wrong 😦

  3. Carmen says:

    Great recap, look forward to following your site throughout the season!

  4. Rose says:

    So agree with Jason! Gutted! Jay had his annoying traits for sure but he was actually a good cook and his awkward man hugs were endearing. Jay actually won multiple challenges and had talent; the only talent Goth Matt has is not losing every time. Sometimes he is just semi-crap and finishes in the middle. PS Loving the blog.

  5. NathandJill says:

    love your blog.Ellie:Ellie-minator

  6. mscactus says:

    I can’t understand how someone (Jay) could be so far behind everyone else and still get a dish up. Oh well, must be the magic of TV. Love your work!!!

  7. Adam says:

    The show descends further into madness with the departure of Jay. Two dessert challenges in a row, I mean really. So Jay doesn’t like desserts? Big whoop, he was still miles better than most others still left.

    Anyway. According to the “where are they now” text he’s got a gig at Ms G’s (love the name btw) with that guest chef guy. This makes me feel marginally better about the whole thing. Jay doesn’t need to be “the Masterchef” to suceed. Good on him.

    • Jason says:

      Yep. A lot better than the other losers who have been evicted so far and are still cooking for family and friends only.

      You could tell that MR Ms G was really impressed. Having heard that jay has never made ice cream and seeing the end result he was very happy to take him on.

      Remember that Jay had offers from the WA and northern beaches chefs too. I can’t see Andrew or Dani getting that level of recognition.

  8. Lulu says:

    Her name is elspeth actually

  9. Gotta say I love your recaps! I’ll be following your future postings too! 😀

  10. Crystal says:

    Sigh. I did not see that coming! I’d like to wipe that smugness off Dani’s face. Big fucking deal, you cleaned your bench! Would you like a medal?

    I’m so mad! Sorry for the profanity, but she provokes me so much!

  11. Showbee says:

    Poor Jay. I wonder too, about whether the producers will change their minds about bringing back eliminated contestants, but if not, Jay’s made a good impression so hopefully he’ll be able to pursue his cheffy dreams. Can’t stand Dani – she irks me in so many ways.

  12. Ghillian says:

    Great recap… not too much bad-mouthing Ellie as well – apart from a sarky comment about her age. Its not her fault she’s as good as she is at her age. Fair enough, Jay comes across as stronger but you can’t win masterchef if you can only cook savoury dishes…

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