Masterchef Recap 31 May: Married to the Sea

Posted: May 31, 2011 in Uncategorized

And we’re back for Jay’s second crack at immunity. He is naked under a bathrobe again. Finally the producers convince him to put some pants on, and he stares commandingly out over the lawn.

He’ll be cooking at the end of Australia’s longest jetty. They’re 2km out to sea. George reminds Jay what he’s fighting for and waves the immunity pin around precariously. What happens if he drops it? Does the episode transition into MasterDiver?

Note the neckbead does nothing

These guys will do anything for the immunity pin

As usual there’s a guest judge. It’s Hadleigh Troy, who is totally unremarkable and says nothing of interest. Matt Preston, looking uncannily like Brian Burke, announces that Jay will be competing against Tony Somethingorother. Tony roars up in a speedboat, eclipsing Matt Moran in the ‘chef most desperate to impersonate James Bond’ stakes.  Jay, who had to walk out here, is jealous.

Tony’s cooking for WA! Tourism WA must have dropped a packet on getting Masterchef out here for the week. For some reason Tony is carrying two giant fish. Presumably this is the dish.

No. The dish is WA Seafood stew – it includes marron. Jay reckons he can give it a good go. Gary reminds him that he’s outdoors, like yesterday. Helpful!  Jay gets a 10 minute head start and a recipe.

Apparently the winds are high, 2km out to sea. Of course they are. That is how sailing works. Jay starts doing everything totally wrong. Tony helps him. Don’t do that, Tony! Jay decides to use his food brain rather than his recipe brain. Wasn’t aware he had either.

Would you buy a used car from this man?

"I think I've got this in the bag"

Tony’s off! He is not familiar with cooking in high wind. Amazing. They have a fake state rivalry. I’m from Sydney and I could not care less. They declare that they like each other. It is the romance of the century here.

So many jokes between the new BFFs. Gary tries to participate but is tragically unfunny. Tony tells that if your base is no good you’re going backward the whole way. That doesn’t really make sense. Like Jay, he loves to smash. Apparently smashing seafood brings out the flavour.

The delicate plating was a surprise

Jay pursuing the purest possible marron flavour

They’re neck and neck! They’ve already made a hot date to go fishing. This is insufferable. We do learn that if you need to slowly add something while stirring, balancing your bowl on a rolled up teatowel will stop it moving around. That is actually really useful.

Tony’s on the seafood, well on track. Meanwhile, Jay has lost five bay leaves to the cruel,  cruel sea. Gary comes and tells Jay that he’s behind. It turns out that Jay has decided to do his broth in a different way, to minimise the flavours. Gary thinks it’s stupid. Probably means this will go well.

Nearly over! Gary starts talking about the weather. At the last moment Tony realises he’s failed to remove the abductor muscle from his scallops. I blame the wind.

Both plate up. Tony tells Jay about his scallop problem. Turns out Jay did the same thing. I don’t like either of these people. Jay thinks he’s got this in the bag, as he usually does. Hopefully, as usual, he is wrong.

Jay’s dish is first up.  Matt and George, unsurprising, like the oversupply of seafood. Hadleigh fails to contribute. The broth is delicious – Jay’s effort in making it bland may have paid off. On the other hand, the scallop is overcooked and not properly cleaned. It’s a good dish overall. Trouble!

Tony’s next. He’s contemplating throwing himself off the pier. Matt Preston is clearly just hungry. The judges are surprised by the presence of dodgy scallops and wanted more aioli. The scallops are perfectly cooked. Surely this will stop Jay.

Decision time! The blue team from Sunday are hanging around. What has happened to the red team? Are they dead? Before this can be resolved, Jay gets 8 from Matt, 7 from the more reasonable George and Hadleigh. He makes that half-constipated face that is his usual expression of delight.

Tony, who appears to be five feet tall, gets eight from Hadleigh, seven from George who is suddenly less reasonable. Matt reveals that he got a dodgy scallop and…FLAMEBALL.

Dr Chris is seeing to a tiny horse tonight. It’s about the size of a Labrador. That is not okay.

This isn't photoshopped

That normal horse is right to be worried

We’re back and Preston comes through with an eight! Tony wins because he could cook properly. Gary waves his T-Rex arms in the air and mentions WA again. Tony confirms their man-date and offers Jay a job. Apparently Jay’s character is perfectly suited for kitchen work. I’ve never been more pleased not to work in a kitchen.

See you tomorrow for the return of the red team from their underground prison.

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Comments
  1. Adam says:

    That sounded like the dullest episode so far this season – glad I missed it. Thanks as always for the recap.

  2. Banda says:

    Had a good laugh when Jay didn’t bother (again) to read the recipe through before he started and nearly stuffed up his stock, he is lucky that Tony helped him out just like Colin did with extra pastry in his first elimination challenge. Of course if Jay had won either challenge the little arrogant toad would have ignored the fact that he had extra help. He makes me crazy!!!!!!

  3. Crystal says:

    “Gary waves his T-Rex arms in the air” LOL!! Do you understand how effing hilarious that is?? I will never, ever look at him the same way again hahahahahaha. Recap of the century, I am practically in tears.

  4. Julia says:

    The mention of Gary’s T-Rex arms also made me cry with laughter. Great recap!

  5. CWA Rocks says:

    i actually don’t understand why they were on a weird jetty way out at sea – must be tourism WA.

    my personal favourite was the ‘recipe brain’ versus ‘food brain’. dude. you were given a recipe. read it all the way through and follow it. it’s not that hard to read a recipe properly. i have doubts about the accuracy of his ‘food brain’…..

    in other news, is the other team still down the mine? I wanted to see that part.

  6. Cheezelubber says:

    Has anyone else noticed that visiting chefs try to establish their dominance in the kitchen by spreading their legs further apart than anyone else in the room/jetty? The smaller the chef the wider they try and spread their legs. I particularly noticed this about guest judge Hadleigh tonight. Boys. Ha!

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