Masterchef Recap 26 May: Race to the Bottom

Posted: May 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

Elimination time! Time to cull some deadwood. Sun reminds us that if she cooks the worst, she will be eliminated. Yes, that is traditional – although they’re changing the rules all over the place these days, so who knows? Despite being told yesterday that this is how it was going down, the contestants feign surprise at the news that they’ll all be cooking.

Hayden decides not to use his immunity pin. He’s playing the numbers again. Craig agrees, calculating that everyone’s got a 90% chance of staying in. No, that’s not how that works – worse cooks, like Craig, have a much higher choice of going. This guy is an idiot.

It’s a pastry-based elimination race. They’ll be making four things – a sponge, a custard, a toffee and a ganache. They then have to make an entire dessert out of the four elements. Look, I’m not a Masterchef, but none of those things appear to be pastry.

and delicious

This would be a more appropriate challenge

The judges will be judging each individual element and the final. Once you move on you can’t go back. .  Doing everything well is obviously good, but doing one element exceptionally will also save them, according to Matt. I’m so confused.

And they’re off! They get a recipe for the sponge, presumably to minimise the amount of complaining letters from the CWA. Andrew thinks a recipe will stop him doing everything wrong. This is demonstrably untrue.

Peter admits he knows nothing about desserts. His egg whites aren’t working switches from using the mixmaster to whisking the egg whites by hand. Why? It still doesn’t work. He is falling way behind.

Meanwhile, the red team are at a spa. Ellie reckons the difference with this guy’s restaurant is his commitment to changing his menu every couple of months and using good ingredients. That is what every chef does, outside of McDonalds.

Back in the kitchen. Peter is close to quitting but decides to start from scratch. Hayden shows off his recapping skills, explaining the challenge considerably better than the judges. This is very useful for punters like me who are hugely confused by this challenge.

An hour to go and Billy is well ahead of the game. Andrew, surprisingly, is next off the mark. More or less everyone is moving on to custard. They don’t get a recipe for this one.George reckons making a custard is simple. Matt thinks there is no right or wrong thing to do. I bet someone proves you wrong there. Sun, for example, has made a cornflour paste. Delicious.

eat it with a spoon

I often think 'this dessert doesn't taste enough like cornflour'

Forty-five minutes to go and Billy is still winning! This guy is a machine. People are slowly moving on to toffee. Hayden has made toffee before but didn’t memorise the recipe. Andrew, on the other hand, is a self-professed toffee expert. This guy has tickets on himself.

Everyone keeps opening their ovens as the sponge is cooking. Stop that! What would your grandmother say?

'You're out of the will'

She wouldn't need to say anything

While everyone else is struggling, Billy guns it onto the ganache. Matt calls him a wizard. Hayden’s toffee is a disaster. He decides to use it anyway. George thinks it’s a stupid idea but tells him ‘you could be on to something’ anyway. Pro tip: he is not on to something.

Sun is living on struggle street. She burns her toffee and calls her performance a ‘comedy of errors’. Where’s the comedy? Her sponge is also sinking like a rock. George tells her to make her toffee again. Instead, she blowtorches some sugar.

Sudden drama – Cleo goes to get her ganache while her toffee is bubbling away. Is this cheating? Surely if you can move on while the sponge is cooking, this is also okay. It isn’t resolved.

Andrew tells us that he doesn’t want to sound arrogant, but he makes great ganache. Does he make it for his youth group? This guy doesn’t live on earth. He was exactly this confident about his bizarre sardine head toast that should have sent it home.

he takes the loaves and fishes parable literally

Andrew's signature dish

Billy is worried because he’s finding this too easy. Craig is worried because there are a limited range of ingredients in the ganache box. There are a limited range of ingredients in ganache. Sun has no idea how to make ganache. She starts guessing and makes slime.

Damn, it looks like Cleo actually was cheating. Andrew is catty about it in the commentary box. George notices but does nothing. If it was Sun you’d tell her. He eventually wanders over. She realises her mistake and corrects it.

Some people watching this with me think that Cleo was intentionally cheating. I think she’s great and has made a honest mistake. Seriously, you guys want to see Cleo go home? Sun and Andrew are still there. Not to mention the fools in the red team.

While I’ve been making fun of people’s inept cooking, I have totally stuffed up the stew I was making for dinner. I have also smashed a casserole dish and spilt anchovy oil all over the floor. I am the Sun of my household.

George gives Cleo an out – she just has to restart her ganache. So, she hasn’t actually lost much time. Instead of remaking her ganache she goes back to her old ganache. This is also a problem apparently. Suddenly Masterchef is all about the rules? Everyone else has been cheating like crazy. Justice for Cleo!

Everyone is decorating except Sun. George helpfully announces this. She has a minor tantrum.  Peter is banking on Sun failing. He lies and says he really feels for her. He is this year’s Jonathan.

Time’s up! I am really worried about Cleo. My housemate reckons she cheated on purpose. My housemate, in related news, is awful. Her dish looks amazing. Sun is crying, and has given up all hope. Damn, this means she’s going to get through.

Judging time! Hayden’s regretting not using his immunity pin. His cake looks delicious – will the stupid toffee let him down? I doubt it. Peter, on the other hand, is in trouble with his plate of goop. Everything is awful. George is speechless.

Unsurprisingly, Billy has made a beautiful dish which is totally delicious. The judges try to nitpick but have nothing. It is a nice counterpoint to Sun’s plate of failure. George thinks her toffee is ‘so wrong’ but ‘so right’. Is this going to save her? Outrageous. Sun calls her accidentally palatable toffee ‘glorious’. GO HOME.

Andrew as usual is pleased with his dish and talks it up. Everything except his ganache sucks. His ganache is average. Kumar, more realistic, is not happy with his dish. The toffee has set too hard to be edible. None of the elements are good enough, but raspberries have saved him.

Cleo is next. She admits to her mistake, which none of the actual cheaters have done so far. She is penalised for being an adult, and the judges decide they will only be judging her sponge and her custard. Cleo cops it on the chin. Her custard is delicious but her sponge is not so good. This is not looking good.

Decision time, and Kumar, Peter and Cleo are called forward. Sun is also called forward, and George says she should be in the bottom but by some miracle she is saved by her caramel. She is safe? I am exploding with rage.

Cleo is eliminated. Craig thinks that there isn’t a single person left who doesn’t feel devastated. Incorrect: Sun and Andrew are over the moon.

Since leaving Masterchef Cleo has not really moved into the food industry. She has returned to her awesome dogs, though, so that’s something.

I miss the preview for tomorrow because I am rioting in the streets. She made a honest mistake! Sun couldn’t cook anything. Goth Matt is still on the show! I am setting fire to his car right now.

I don't follow football so this is really my only opportunity to riot

This is a proportionate response

A minor point of consolation: my stew turned out edible! I’m sure you’re all delighted.

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Comments
  1. Adam says:

    Maybe I didn’t watch the last season of Masterchef very much at the start but gee, this episode really showed how average some of these contestants are and how ridiculously random the elimination process is.

    There are at least 5 or 6 people who are demonstrably worse cooks than Cleo was and yet she’s gone home…. kind of makes it all a bit silly.

  2. KP says:

    I thought the same about the cake continuing to cook and being able to move on but not with toffee?? Rubbish decision and we will coordinate the QLD end of the riots. Also glad to hear your stew turned out well!

  3. Crystal says:

    Brb setting fire to Sun’s letterbox.

  4. Banda says:

    Tonight’s decision was absolute cr*p but your blog has made the show a lot more enjoyable! Sun should have gone – all of her elements were terrible and her negative pieces to camera are so annoying, she knows she is lucky to still be in the competition. As a lover of conspiracy theories, all we can think of is that maybe Cleo will be brought back at a later date in a “strange twist” as we had her pegged as one of the top three!! Maybe Goth Matt will do some DIY piercing and get a nasty infection and have to leave the competition due to hygiene reasons…..he looks like he needs a good scrub!!!

  5. CWA Rocks says:

    oh lord, i missed the episode so having now found out what has happening I am joining the rioting!! Cleo was clearly the best. JUSTICE MUST BE DONE!

    in unrelated masterchef advertising news, has anyone else noticed the schwepps cocktails ads? I think they are great, but my partner thinks not. thoughts?

  6. Nic says:

    Oh, how I wish you did the Friday night recaps… Hayden made sausages….

  7. jason says:

    I’m starting a campaign for balanced reporting on jay and andrew! Both are on the spectrum but aren’t the worst!

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