Masterchef Episode Five Recap: Fantasy Island Edition

Posted: May 5, 2011 in Recap

The recap guy has gotten less dramatic. Actually, he sounds like he’s lost a couple of teeth. “Lasht night on mathterthef”. Hope he’s okay. Tonight’s another happy night – no eliminations, and six people are going through. The remaining – what, thirty? – march through the doors to be greeted by the judges in fancy dress. More specifically, Gary and Matt have dressed up. George has just worn his normal weekend gear.

da plane! da plane!

"Boom boom, shake the room!"

Shannon thinks the judges look cute in their sailor hats. We haven’t heard from Shannon before, and I now hope to never hear from her again.

The fancy dress isn’t just for fun. Tonight is the desert island challenge. Basically it’s just a signature dish challenge in a funny hat. The contestants have to make the dish they’d be happy to eat every day for the rest of their lives. The six already through to the top twenty-four are standing awkwardly around the masterchef concrete slab, wearing aprons for no reason. How long have they been there? Since Tuesday?

We’re back in the time-out commentary box. A whole bunch of people really, really want to get through the top twenty-four. I thought that was the point, but apparently a few people are really only interested in the free trip to Cockatoo Island.

The ghosts add to the ambience.


Quirky Danielle is making green eggs and ham! Funnily enough that’s my signature dish too, but only because I keep forgetting to clean out the fridge. The judges come for a chat and she manages to work ‘I love cooking’ and ‘it’s a hard knock life’ themes into one sentence. That is a solid performance. The judges are suitably impressed and leave her alone.

Everyone’s making some seriously fancy stuff. Really?  You want to finely chop daikon every day for the rest of your life? My desert island dish is a baked bean jaffle.

With Alby gone it’s time for a bit of backstory on our backup hat guy, Billy. Turns out he doesn’t wear the hat outside of the Masterchef studio. He’s a food blogger! OK, he’s the new blog favourite.

Matt the IT goth from Melbourne is following Julie’s strategy of grabbing the most expensive stuff in the pantry and throwing it on a plate. Well, it worked for her. He will not shut up about ethical foi gras. Honestly, the geese love being force-fed. Who cares?

Irena the personal trainer likes sweets! But really, she’s all about ‘healthy options’. Not interested. All that means is ‘not using all of the butter’ which is the kiss of death in the Masterchef kitchen.

Meanwhile, blog favourite Billy is making his mum’s pork belly. Heartwarming and delicious. This guy knows his stuff. Must be all that blogging.

Andrew the youth worker is making a piece of meat the size of his head. He unwraps an entire stick of butter then doesn’t do anything with it – just for a snack, then. He believes he’s going to get the apron. That sounds like loser foreshadowing to me.

Kumar has made his own coconut cream. The music department reuses Jimmy’s Theme – seriously, this faux bollywood stuff has never been played other than when an Indian guy is cooking something. Stay classy! He tells the camera it’s ‘game on’ then giggles.

Judgement time! Seamus has made seared tuna and tiny batons of vegies. It’s so good that Gary makes the top six eat some. Kumar’s prawn curry is also excellent, and served in a way that shows that he was aware of the ‘desert island’ part of the theme. Go son!

We get a closeup of Matt the IT Goth. Don’t know if the ginger beard works with the long black hair. He will not shut up about his ethical foi gras. He’s cooked everything well, though Gary questions whether the dish is worth its $100 price tag.  Matt has a problem with the dish – immediate cut to ad break! This usually means his problem is ‘this dish is too delicious’.

Not this time! Matt’s problem is that IT Goth hasn’t used Australian seasonal produce and has reflected our cultural insecurity by using white truffle, which apparently suck by the time they get here. ‘I like the dish, but I question the politics’. Yes! Matt Preston wins – I see your ‘ethical foi gras’ and I raise you ‘postcolonialism’!

Danielle’s green eggs and ham reduce Gary to wordless grunting, not that it takes much. John’s chocolate brownies are good, but for some reason he’s put a pineapple top on his plate. George wears it like a hat. Seriously.

Andrew has served the biggest ribeye ever. He claims to have cooked it between blue and rare. This fools nobody as it’s clear has not had time to cook it properly. Surprise! It is totally raw. He has wasted enough meat to feed a family of four for a week.
Blog favourite Billy is up! His pork belly is unsurprisingly delicious. Gary eats all the crackling. It’s the dish of the day! He is the favourite for a reason.
Time for Sun’s ‘slow cooked egg on bruschetta with asparagus’. Gary loves her, and by proxy this dish. Matt displays the insight that made him a famous food critic and points out that it’s toast and eggs.  Sun still reckons she’s shown the skills and determination to grab this and run with it. When? When she made an egg? I can make eggs, doesn’t take me two hours either.
Alana’s chocolate fondant is pretty delicious. The judges flip out about the pretty lady. Gary leans forward in an attempt to be sexy. Second dish of the day! George regrets calling dish of the day without tasting all of the dishes. He’s not going to learn anything from this, though.

Decision time. Alana, Blog Favourite Billy, Kumar, Eliza, Seamus and Quirky Danielle are through. Gary does the ‘touchdown’ action from Australian Idol. Who would have thought anyone could be as embarrassing as Mark Holden? Nobody cries, surprisingly.
Masterclass tomorrow. We end with a shot of George cackling as he bludgeons an octopus against a rock.

  1. CWA Rocks says:

    I agree with Billy being the blog favorite. As any sef respecting cwa member knows, a roast is always a winner.

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