Masterchef Episode Four Recap: Deadliest Catch Edition

Posted: May 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

Tonight we are presented with diabolical choice with disastrous outcomes! This would be a lot more suspenseful if the promo hadn’t explained exactly what was going to happen using pictures and small words. Stay classy, promo team.

The contestants have been dragged out to a dock at dawn to be greeted by Gary – hardly the breakfast of champions. They’ve got an hour and fifteen minutes to cook a dish. But there’s a twist! They can try their luck fishing or risk the mystery ingredient. Fishing in Sydney Harbour, hey? I hear the mercury adds flavour.

It’s split almost evenly down the middle. Gary hypes up the high-risk nature of this choice, guaranteeing that the mystery item is something inedible. Seamus, who has never fished before, is our risk-taker. Apparently the risk is very localised.

The daredevils leave on their voyage of discovery while the wimps return to the kitchen to wait out the two hours. Hope they get a chair at least.

Bit of backstory on Nick the startled hedgehog. He turns to cooking as an escape from the day to day drudgery of being a Commerce/Law student who lives at home. My heart just bleeds for him. Has he considered doing an apprenticeship? Nah, better get a degree he doesn’t want so he can get a job he hates!

Cherish the pain, Nick! It means you're still alive!

He gets the first fish! It’s more than big enough. Too bad, you’re out here for another ninety minutes. Seconds later Dan the bag designer gets another. Now Seamus has one! It’s fish town out here. Clearly this option was not as risky as advertised.

Only Jess is having no luck. Those bait prawns look ok – maybe she should pocket a couple. She gets bored of listlessly plucking at her lines and has a bit of a lie-down. Everyone worries about her but they’re not allowed to share fish – you better believe after last night nobody’s keen to play silly buggers with the rules.

The fish just keep on coming for everyone except Jess. Eh, she was into fishing before it was mainstream anyway.

meow

My favourite ingredient? It's really obscure - you've probably never heard of it.

This episode is starting to move out of  ‘cooking program’ territory and into ‘documentary on overfishing in Sydney Harbour’. Jess finally catches a flathead, through no fault of her own.

After an ad break we’re back in the kitchen learning about types of fish.  Myri expresses surprise that the risk-takers have brought back fish. What was she expecting, steak? Looks like the safe choice wasn’t so safe. Wild guesses are flying about the mystery ingredient. Will it be brains? Tripe? Spleen? It’s probably not going to be prawns, but thanks for playing anyway, Myri.

Crikey! It’s crocodile. Alex reckons he’s made a bad choice – that’s been his signature move so far, why would he stop now?

Everyone’s running to the pantry. The fishermen get cracking while the crocodile guys wander back and forward making flavour guesses. Myri puts a lemon in her basket and goes back to her bench. Takes her a minute to realise she probably needs something else. No rush, buddy!

Eliza, panicking, winks at the camera. It’s very strange. No wonder Gary likes her so much. He and George wander around freaking out the contestants as much as possible.

Alex has decided to poach his crocodile. It doesn’t work. The peanut gallery steps in. He wanders back and forward aimlessly waiting for his mum to arrive to do it for him. He’s looking better than Alby, though, who’s going for croc schnitzel. Croc and chips, delicious.

George and Gary huddle to gloat about their Machiavellian masterpiece.  Astonishingly, George fails to deliver a crocodile-related pun to round the segment out. Maybe he’s not feeling well.

Jess has never worked with fish before. Why did she decide to go fishing again? She’s nervous about filleting it but delivers a decent looking piece of fish. Her celebration is cut short by the realisation that she has failed to prepare anything else.

In the ad break Courtney’s selling kitchens at Harvey Norman! Strange that none of these contestants have mentioned that this too is their dream. How about ‘dropping out of an apprenticeship’ or ‘having the local council shut down your fish-burger stand’? All of this and more can be yours if you get to the final twelve.

The judges come to check that Myri’s still using the child-safe knives. Gary starts expounding on the meaning of ‘tough’. The words are too long Myri is baffled, decides to ignore the advice.

Dan the bag designer is making a fish kebab with pomegranate sauce. John’s using pomegranate as well. Coincidentally they’re on sale at Coles this week. George changes everyone’s life by revealing the secret to getting pomegranate seeds out of the thing! Amazing. You just hit it with a spoon apparently.

Alex has finally given up on the poaching idea. Now he’s trying a fried crust. Gary asks if he’s clutching at straws? The answer, as everyone knows, is yes. He makes his seventeenth trip back to the pantry.

Jess is feeling confident about her dish until she tells the judges she’s poaching it. She meant pan-frying. Rather than saying ‘I mean pan-frying’ she decides to panic and commit to poaching. Turns out she doesn’t know how to poach things. The peanut gallery help as best they can. Why is she doing this?

Alby is throwing more and more stuff on the plate to try and salvage his dish. More sauce! Microgreens! Nothing can disguise the fact that it looks like schnit. Time is up and everyone hugs. Except for Seamus, who shakes hands.

Myri’s up to the judges first and cops it for making greek salad totally wrong. George cracks it while Gary sniggers. Should have called it a fusion salad.

Jess’s dish looks like a three-year-old made it. And it’s full of bones! As revenge for nearly being killed Matt informs her that she’s about two years too young for this. She is GONE.

Nick has made a delicious morwong dish but has inexplicably served it with devilled eggs. Seamus has also gone the morwong but it’s undercooked – this is apparently ok because it’s incredibly fresh.

Alby’s croc schnit takes ten to fifteen minutes to cut through. I’ve eaten many a schnitzel like that and enjoyed it, can’t see what Matt’s complaining about.

deeeelicious

Signature dish.

Gary makes his one contribution – asks if George wants a saw for Alex’s crocodile. George ignores him. Alex has cooked the thing to death but has accidentally stumbled onto a great flavour combination. Talk about a lucky cock.

Pan fried crocodile from John is the only dish that looks vaguely presentable. Gary patronisingly congratulates him for presenting a dish, then describes Riesling flavours as ‘winey’. Matt loves it though and texts a picture to Maggie Beer. Maggie can text?

John, Nick and Dan go straight through, largely because they made complete and edible dishes. Seamus, Chelsea and Alex get called up. Four people left standing behind them. Four people are to be eliminated. Myri wonders what this could mean. Before she can guess the three are through.

Bit of an emotional moment with the losers. Blah, blah, you’re all great – lies – and should keep cooking. Surely a trapdoor would be more efficient.

With Alby gone, Hayden looks for a moment like he’s got an uncontested spot as this year’s hat-wearing fool – the hope is short lived as some guy wearing a flat cap is shown for the first time in the promo.

Tomorrow night promises Gary in a sailor’s hat. George, feeling left out, puts a pineapple on his head. Can’t wait!

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